BAWLDIMORE MERLIN

Two weeks!  In two weeks I am leaving San Francisco to move back to Baltimore!  I clamored to leave that place for YEARS and when I finally got as far away as I could without crossing an ocean I decided to go back!  I was NOT a New Yorker and there is practically nothing I miss about living in that city.  When I hear it called a visitor's town, I understand.  But I really, really love San Francisco.  It breaks my heart to leave.  Maybe one day I'll go back.  I'm very excited to go back to Baltimore, and I cannot wait to have a freakin' crab cake with a side of gravy fries.
AND this summer, I wanna go to Ocean City!  Although I currently live 4.2 miles from the Pacific Ocean, it's not a beach in the East Coast sense of the word.  Instead of a boardwalk and lots of idiots and children, there's just a highway, homeless people, and a graffiti wall that drunk teenage girls pee on.  Oh, and a windmill.  I think the nearest beach town is Santa Cruz.  There's a boardwalk and some rides, but it's just not the same.  People don't 'vacation' there religiously every weekend and everything closes at night.  There is no Seacrets!

Here's a piece I've been holding onto for just the right time.

You don't go to the beach or to the shore, you go DOWN THE OCEAN.